6 Things Men Should Know That Our Fathers Did not tell Us
Many times in the jungle, an animal is born and must be alert within minutes else it will be a meal. Mother Giraffes have to kick its new baby to spur it to have the energy to stand and walk while the American alligator carries the young in its mouth until it is in the safety of the water.
Humans are not like this.
Since we are very tender at birth, there has to be a conscious effort by parents to cuddle, care, and smoother the tot with love and attention. As the child grows, s/he is trained with certain skills to help navigate life successfully.
Some parents do a very good job while others struggle.
Looking at the life of many young men, I see that many fathers did not invest appropriate time in grooming them in their formative years. There could be many factors that could influence this.
It could be that the fathers were lost as to how to raise men because the times had changed from how their own fathers taught them.
Maybe the men expected their wives to train the boys just as they were training the girls.
Maybe they did not see the need to lead the boy child through the right path until the child has started going on the wrong route learning lessons from haphazard sessions the world had thrown at him.
Maybe the man did not know how to communicate his thoughts and was not willing or able to learn a new method.
It could be all these factors and more. We might never really know.
What I do know are the truths below will help the male gender have a better perspective as to what their life is and what to do going forward.
- It is HARD to be a man.
To be a man is a full-time job with no vacations and consistent challenges.
The numbers do not lie.
Across the world, women have a higher life expectancy than men. (Wikipedia)
Men are “10 times more likely to be killed at work than women” (Forbes)
I guess you have come in contact with the Bible in your lifetime and heard about Adam.
If not, let me introduce you to the first man created by God. He and his wife, Eve, went against the instructions of God and were to be punished. The snake, that tempted Eve, got 2 verses of curses. (Genesis 3:14–15)
Eve got one verse. (Genesis 3:16 )
Adam got the heaviest retribution with 3 verses of strong punishment for the same sin. (Genesis 3:17–19)
I think it was because he was put in charge from the very beginning but yet failed to follow the laid down rules. Since then EVERY MAN must sweat from his brow before he can create anything and so it will be till the day he goes back to the soil where he was created from.
Now that you know this, never forget that the life of a man is HARD.
Get used to this and dig in your heels. Work as hard and as smart as you possibly can throughout your life, nothing will be handed over to you if you do not make an effort towards it.
You are the Priest, Police, and President.
And no, you cannot resign from any of these positions.
If you do, your family will feel the brunt so you have to MAN up. Literally.
Be a Leader and take up the important responsibilities that come with the job.
Be a leader, do the hard things.
2. It is fine to have Emotions but do not be a cry baby.
Now that we have posited that the life of a man is hard, it does not mean the man has to be without emotions.
Emotions are part of the human physiology, you can’t uninstall it from your software.
It is fine to feel anger, sadness, joy, and any other type of emotion that can overwhelm you at any point.
Find a way in which you can express your emotion. When you feel pain and you want to cry, please do so.
Shout with glee if you are excited.
Be proud of your emotions but do not be ruled by them.
Do not be thrown off the course due to bad days or a deal gone south.
Take it in your stride and learn to harness your emotions.
3. Have close-knit friends.
I call it a brotherhood.
Those few people that connect with your core values.
A few good men.
I usually recommend 3–4 men. They might all know each other, or not.
Ensure you are as open as possible to these guys to a level you can (this is after you have tested their capacity to have high integrity. Even after this, do not lay ALL your cards on the table. Humans are still humans. The enemy is usually within so be always ‘guiding’)
These are the men that will inspire you to be better and guide you when you are losing your way. They are the men that you connect with and will be there for you through thick and thin. These men will not paint the truth, they’ll tell you as it is.
You need your crew. If you do not have one, start building one now.
4. Women are different from us and are not complex.
Many a time, men complain about the female gender.
Most fellows relate with them the same way they relate with other men. It does not work that way.
Think of it this way.
You are late for work and you had to rush out of your apartment.
When you get to your car, you find out that you do not have your car keys.
Will you try to use the key to your apartment to gain access to your car and drive to work?
No!
You’ll have to get the right key for the vehicle to be able to get to work.
It is the same thing with women. They speak a different language when compared to men. We do not need to keep complaining that they are ‘complex’. What we can do is to bridge the gap by learning their language without changing ourselves.
What women want from their men are these 3 things. Pay attention here.
They want their men to:
Lead.
Protect.
and Provide.
In that order.
Now that you know what ladies want, you need to know how to serenade your lady or the one you want. Study her in-depth by observing, asking indirect questions, and taking action according to your instinct.
5. Do not allow your son to go through the same things you did.
Now that you have learned the hard way, do not make it a family tradition.
Pay it forward to the next generation.
Teach your son the things that will give him a head start.
How to manage finances.
How to be a leader.
How to make definite decisions.
How to trust himself.
How to soldier on when things are difficult.
Take time out to teach him in plain terms the factors that helped you succeed and help him to be a step ahead of you.
Let him stand on your shoulders.
6. Basics of Manhood.
Since I do not want to bore you with a lot of points, I need you to ruminate on these below.
a. Having a Penis makes you male, taking up your responsibilities makes you a man.
b. Having a purpose is more important than having a woman (When you have a purpose, the right woman will come)
c. Having a Mentor is important. If your father cannot be all things to you, (like all humans, he will have his own flaw) do not hesitate to learn the things he could not teach you from another man you respect. A man who will keep you accountable.
d. Have integrity. Do not be caught lying about. If you are going to do something, do it with your ‘chest’. People generally tend to trust other people that are consistent.
BOOKS YOU SHOULD READ.
- The Rational Male: Rollo Tomassi
2. The Way of the Superior Man: David Deida
3. Book of Pook: Material by Pook, from the Sosuave.com forums Compiled By Gubby
4. Understanding the Purpose and Power of Men: Dr. Myles Munroe.
5. The Power of A Praying Husband: Stormie Omartian
BOOKS YOU SHOULD BUY FOR YOUR PARTNER
- The Power of A Praying Wife: Stormie Omartian
2. Understanding the Purpose and Power of Women: Dr. Myles Munroe.
3. The Surrendered Wife: Laura Doyle
FOOTNOTE
Which of the points connected with you the most? Share your thoughts
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